Batavia, IL
The Colliders picked up where they left off in 2011 – by scoring the most points in the league in week 1. The divisional win against the Dragons was expected, but still welcome.
The Colliders, as usual, were led by their extraordinary quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. He put up more than 16 points even as his Packers led to a superior 49ers squad. The Dragons answered with first pick Andrew Luck, who contributed a paltry 3.90 points to the losing side.
The Colliders came into the game with serious questions at running back. You may recall that they struggled last year to come up with two starters at the position with McFadden missing most of the year with a vaginal injury. They attempted to address that by drafting Doug Martin with the fourth pick overall this year. But leading up to the game there was a question about Arian Foster’s knee. Fortunately, Foster was able to play, and he scored twice against the hapless Dolphins. For his part, Doug Martin played well, despite not making it into the end zone. But the surprise player was running back Alfred Morris, who was drafted by the Kamino Bounty Hunters only to be cast off. The Colliders picked him up in free agency, and put him in the starting lineup right before kickoff. Morris rewarded the team with two trips to the end zone. Kamino fans are cursing the name of Jonathan Lowry, yet again.
The Colliders got a touchdown out of Vernon Davis, the tight end, which is nice. But the game ball for week one goes to WR Julio Jones, who scored twice (albeit once on an illegal pick play) and went on to post more than 21 points for Batavia. Calvin Johnson was somewhat limited in that he didn’t find the end zone, but he still caught 6 balls for 111 yards.
The coaching staff was satisfied with some of what they saw on the defensive side of the ball as well. Free agent DT Jonathan Babineaux did more than enough for coach Hammond, scoring 7 points at a position that the Colliders have struggled with recently. His Atlanta teammate, John Abraham, proved to be an ageless wonder, as he recorded a sack and forced a fumble en route to 15.75 points (and all for $1.27 in salary.)
The linebacking corps is beginning to crystallize as well. This defense looks to be built in the old Chitons mode of 4 linebackers. Chad Greenway led the charge with 14 points, while Donald Butler is proving that Batavia’s scouting department is one of the top groups in the league. Derrick Johnson was a good contributor despite being dinged up. Seahawks LB Bobby Wagner did disappoint a little bit, as did 9th overall pick Lavonte David. The rookie LB who did the best, of course, was the guy on the bench: Donta Hightower. His week one performance isn’t likely to be repeated, but he’s got a favorable matchup in week 2, and Hammond is looking like he might give Hightower the starting nod.
Cornerback has been a position of strength for the Colliders, and it looked as if that might continue with the franchise tag being applied to Charles Tillman. Tillman was instrumental in bringing home the championship last season, saving his best games for the fantasy playoffs. He got hurt early on, however, and provided zero points, which just kills Coach Hammond. Tillman’s status is questionable, and if he can’t return by Thursday night’s game, the Colliders might be forced to pay Patrick Peterson the holdout dollars he’s demanding.
Safety Jairus Byrd, who was tops in the league at his position last season, had a pedestrian game against the golden-armed Mark Sanchez (also a Collider.) Hopefully he’ll put up better numbers next week.
The Colliders face the Bestine Banthas in week 2. The Banthas shocked the world last season by winning their division, which has since been renamed to Han Jobs, Done Solo. Surprisingly, the Colliders have a losing record against the Banthas historically. Bestine scored a decent amount of points in week 1, but lost to a juggernaut Chitons squad. Odds-makers still favor Batavia in this one, and why wouldn’t they?
© 2012, Josh Hammond. All rights reserved.
Great stuff bro. Weekly occurrence?
Try to…we’ll see if life gets in the way or not. I’m hoping it encourages other people to write too, since I tire of reading my own stuff.
I’ll try, but I’ve just been so damn busy lately