Speculation has run amok in the training camps of the Bestine Banthas and Batavia Colliders regarding the identity of Jordan Cameron. Or is it Cameron Jordan?
The Banthas claim to have rostered a defensive end from the Saints named Cameron Jordan. The Colliders insist that they have a tight end named Jordan Cameron.
But an increasing number of Immersion “insiders” insist that those two players are actually one in the same.
“Look at the jersey numbers: they both end in 4. And what’s 4 divided by 2? That’s right, 2. As in, two identities,” said a notable scout who has chosen to remain anonymous due to fear of reprisals.
When it was pointed out that these two players have different ethnic backgrounds, a prominent Immersion GM replied, “CGI, man, CG-fucking-I.”
The DE collects a salary of $1.10 from the Banthas, while the TE collects a $2 salary from the Colliders. But what if the player is cashing in by playing both sides of the ball?
“It’s definitely a violation of the Immersion CBA to collect active roster paychecks from two teams,” quipped an Immersion lawyer. “If JordanCameronJordan is really doing that, then he runs the risk of having both contracts voided and facing a serious fine, suspension, and possible expulsion from the league.”
Jordan Cameron and Cameron Jordan have never been photographed together, and of course the Saints won’t play the Browns this season, so the question may never be answered definitively.
But what could prove to be most damning, was the separate responses both (or the one?) players had to this piece:
“Y’all need to get a life,” said Cameron Jordan.
“Man, you guys have no life,” said Jordan Cameron.
Those replies seem to speak for themselves. And they speak volumes.
© 2013, Josh Hammond. All rights reserved.
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