There was dancing and laughterand high fives and butt slaps and kite flying and hop scotch last week in the little foothill town of Sweet Home Oregon last week. Why, you ask? Its all because of the conclusion of the Rookie draft.
We spoke with coach Garcia in a candid interview. When asked about why everyone is so excited about this year, his reply caught me a bit off guard. Garcia said, ” We are very excited that we got exactly the men we wanted with our three pics.” “All three of these guys could make an immediate impact.” “The truth is tho, were not expecting much this year.” “We just wanna get by.” “Were only signing a couple guys to multiple year contracts, other than that were gonna start clean next year with a real grasp on things.”
Still feeling confused as to why there was such pure joyfullness and excitement heading into this year , i asked……”Thats it? What a crock of shit!” But what Garcia said next is what made everything make perfect sense.
Garcia replied… “Listen, you gotta think outside the box sometimes.” ” Put yourself in my shoes.” “Im sitting here with the 1.2 draft pick.” “Im getting offers from Fransburg for his old gym shoes and a stale candy cane from 4 Christmas ago.” “Everyone wants the top draft picks but they’re not willing to pay for it.” “Thats allot of stress.”
Finally, some clearity. Dont be fooled tho. With the owner of the Battery being thrown into the gauntlet in his first year, and the Dream teams guys dropping like flies, things might not be so bad.
Towards the end of the interview i asked Garcia if the accusations were true that he is in fact the father to Enrights soon to be baby. He gave me a smirk and said, “would it be so bad if i was helping him build a superior gene pool?” Before i could ask anything else Garcia retired to his masturbation chamber.
© 2013, Jesse Garcia. All rights reserved.
Dislike!
Go back to your nieces birthday party.
Dislike!
Go back to your nieces birthday party.
Ha, I wasn’t expecting the paternity burn there at the end. It is true that Sweet Home does have a chance to be better this year. I’m sure they’ll probably beat me, just so stupid Matt can win my division by one game again.
I’m psyched that some owners are jumping on this draft summary article thing.
Ha, I wasn’t expecting the paternity burn there at the end. It is true that Sweet Home does have a chance to be better this year. I’m sure they’ll probably beat me, just so stupid Matt can win my division by one game again.
I’m psyched that some owners are jumping on this draft summary article thing.
Dude, the candy canes are still on the table for everyone, don’t act like they’re not so you can drive up your bargaining position!
Dude, the candy canes are still on the table for everyone, don’t act like they’re not so you can drive up your bargaining position!
Candy canes come in handy during long stints in ones masturbation chamber.
Candy canes come in handy during long stints in ones masturbation chamber.