Division Predictions – Part 3

Divisional Predictions – Part 3

Suffering from the flu and tired of lying on the couch, FFL guru Adam Franssen gives us his take on the upcoming SCUFFLE Immersion season.  Who will win?  Who will lose?  I have no idea, but this is more entertaining than watching TV or taking a nap.  Without further ado…

Beaver Nation (aka, The AFC East)

Like the AFC East, this division is has been led by a powerhouse team followed by a bunch of also-rans in recent years.  While there’s really no secret that the defending champion Pirates are posted as favorites, it would certainly be a mistake to think that there are no surprises in store for this division in 2013. There’s hope aplenty in Beaver Nation.

Division Winner:  Marshfield Pirates (aka New England Patriots)

This team is in great shape to win the division.  I have them going 5-1 in intra-divisional play on the way to the championship versus the Colliders.  They have Brady at QB, three of the top 10 RBs in Rice, McCoy, and Lynch.  They have the undisputed #1  TE in Graham and the #1 LB in Kuechly.  So how could things possibly go wrong?  Well, if you HAVE to pick a weakness there are two options:  1) Depth.  This team has the depth of a kiddie pool.  No diving – one injury to the named players above and this season could be toast.  2) WR.  Seriously, how am I picking this team to make the championship with freaking Dwayne Bowe and Torrey Smith leading the charge?  Well, I have them ranked 16th and 17th overall at the position, so it’s not a HUGE stretch to call them starters, but we’re supposed to be looking for weaknesses here…

Division Runner-up:  Downstate CornChutes* (aka Miami Dolphins) 

It seems like every time I look for a sleeper, he’s on the ‘Chutes’ roster.   If those guys start to pan out, this could be a very exciting season Downstate.  With Drew Brees at the helm and Jamaal Charles projected by some to break Tomlinson’s total yardage record, they’re strong at the top end.  Their WR corps is young but solid and their defense has guys like Michael Johnson and James Laurenitis who can bust out huge games, too.  It may be next year before they win the division, but they’re my final playoff qualifier for 2013.

Division 2nd Runner-up:  Sweet Home Gridiron Gang (aka Buffalo Bills) 

Like the Bills, the Gang have a team that is on the rise.   The offseason acquisition of Peyton Manning was a strong one, and you have to love that they picked up Le’Veon Bell, DeAngelo Williams, and Frank Gore all for less than what Marshawn Lynch makes.  They have proven stars at WR in Reggie Wayne and Victor Cruz and a supporting defensive cast that will make opponents sweat.  Shit, why isn’t this team going to the playoffs??  I think I may be underrating them because so many players are on one year contracts, but perhaps a Kensington-esque run is in the cards for Sweet Home in 2013.

Division 3rd Runner-up:  Oregon Dream Team (aka NY Jets)

If you could come up with one word to describe either the Dream Team or the Jets, it would probably be “dysfunctional”.  Oregon had a rough offseason.  First, injuries and murder conspired to put a dark cloud around the franchise.  Second, ownership went a bit batty in collecting Safeties.  Third, in a series of trades, auction, and draft adventures, they land on a starting RB lineup of Go Bernard (RB17) and Kenjon Barner (RB77).  With zero depth.  How does this happen?  Dysfunction is my guess.

The good news is that the owner seems to finally realize that this season is a wash and is no longer making moves suited for a contender.  Better yet, he’s positioning the team to avoid cap hits for next season.   Last, they’re also a shoo-in for the #1 draft pick in 2014.  With affordable and talented players at QB (Stafford), RB (Bernard), and WR (Cobb) in place, fans are already looking forward to the future in Oregon.

© 2013, Adam Franssen. All rights reserved.

About Adam Franssen 34 Articles
Tenured Professor of Biology. Hasn't won the title since 2010, though. You win some, you lose some.

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