BATAVIA, IL
Colliders’ GM Josh Hammond has earned good marks in a variety of outlets for his savvy 2016 draft. He emerged from his war room drenched in sweat, but smiling. He offered two thumbs up to the assembled press.
“We did it, you guys. We fucking did it.”
Hammond had two picks in the first round, but traded away all of his second and third round picks for financial reasons. He made the most of the picks he had.
As expected, the Fransburg (r)EvoLUtion took Ezekial Elliott with the first pick, a player they had already signed. This put Hammond in a pickle, because he desperately needed a RB, given that he only had three on the roster. Hammond contemplated taking the best available receiver, but ultimately opted for RB Derrick Henry, citing concerns over him being snatched up before their next pick at 8.
“We like what Henry’s about,” said Hammond. “Is it a stretch to take him at #2? I don’t know. Saving a few bucks on him wasn’t worth the risk of not getting him. If you want your guy, go get him. That’s what I always say.”
A bizarre series of picks were made afterwards, leading to the unexpected gift of Corey Coleman falling into the Colliders’ lap at #8. Coleman had been ranked as high as #2 overall in many places, prompting Hammond to wonder whether or not he had recently suffered a season ending injury.
“Had we gone the ‘best available player’ route, we likely would have taken Coleman with the second pick. We liked him a lot better than Treadwell. But have you seen our receivers? Best corps in the league, hands down. Hands down, Franssen! So getting another top notch receiver and missing the running back wasn’t going to be in our best interests. Turns out, we got both, motherfucker.”
The Colliders didn’t pick again until the fourth round, where they drafted Bills RB Jonathan Williams. They rounded out the 5th round with DE Adolphus Washington and WR Pharoh Cooper.
“I don’t know, his name sounded cool,” said Hammond of his final WR pick. “I was hoping he was Amari Cooper’s little brother or something. Turns out he’s not.”
The Colliders will exceed the salary cap should they sign all of their draft picks, but Hammond doesn’t seem worried.
“Someone will get cut from the NFL team, or get busted for drugs, or punch a baby. We’ll find some players to cut before the regular season starts. We always do.”
While Hammond obviously did well, many reporters noted that the division-rival (r)EvoLUtion made a splash as well, nabbing Elliott and Myles Jack.
“Don’t even get me started on that fucking guy, okay?” a visibly irritated Hammond snapped. “I make a play for the #2 pick, and he has to go all topper guy and get the #1 pick. It’s like high school all over again. He can’t think for himself so he just copies me. Always been a copier, that guy.”
Pressed for another example of Adam Franssen “copying,” Hammond replied, “I wrote a draft recap article. You watch. He’ll have one out tomorrow.”
© 2016, Josh Hammond. All rights reserved.
Nice. I was surprised that you went Henry #2, and even more surprised Coleman was still there at #8, as you said. It was a really odd Round 1. I totally expected to have to take a flier on a RB and instead I got Treadwell, who was ranked as high as #2 despite playing for the Vikings. I immediately thought he was out for the year or something …