(r)EvoLUtion sign #1 Pick Ezekiel Elliot ahead of Immersion Draft

FRANSBURG – As expected since their trade with the Hawks in July, the Fransburg (r)EvoLUtion will draft Cowboys RB Ezekiel Elliot with the 1.01 pick this coming Saturday.  Perhaps less expected was that the team would get ‘Zeke under contract prior to the draft.

The King of Abs will be toting the rock for the (r)EvoLUtion for the next three years.
The King of Abs will be toting the rock for the (r)EvoLUtion for the next three years.

On Monday, Elliot put pen to paper on a 3-year, $50.40 deal that will make him a hold-out proof cornerstone of the franchise through the 2018 season.  GM Adam Franssen on the signing, “This was an easy one.  Since the CBA established a slotted salary schedule, there’s really been no issue in getting our rookies under contract.  We don’t have offset language or even bonus money, so you won’t see a Joey Bosa situation playing out in Franburg.”

Elliot expressed excitement to get the pre-draft jitters out of the way, “Man, it’s great to have already signed and know that I’m going Number 1.  With the contract done, I can’t wait to finish rehabbing my hamstring and start scoring points for the Silver and Blue.”

Though spirits are high in Fransburg, fans are tempering expectations.  As you’ll recall, the team acquired Trent Richardson after the 2012 draft from the Primates.  After a finishing 7th among RBs his rookie year, Richardson flamed out and was essentially never heard from again.  Everyone this reporter has spoken to hopes that ‘Zeke will put the ghosts of T-Rich to bed by playing out his rookie contract and becoming a Le’Veon Bell-like commodity on the RFA market.

Batavia is on the clock.

© 2016, Adam Franssen. All rights reserved.

About Adam Franssen 34 Articles
Tenured Professor of Biology. Hasn't won the title since 2010, though. You win some, you lose some.

4 Comments

  1. So when you say ready to play for the silver and blue you’re referring to the bruise colors on his gf right? Dude will play for a year and be suspended through the rest of his career, because assholes who hit women are always assholes who hit women.

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