THE WHEELS HAVE COME ALL THE WAY OFF
Hammond vows significant roster changes in wake of yet another embarrassing loss.
The Colliders’ post-championship meltdown continued in week 4, with the worst performance to date. They failed to eclipse 100 points and would have won had they given Cam Newton one more chance (of course.) Newton scored 26 points uselessly on the bench while Roethlisberger bumbled his way to 7 whole points. Trey Flowers was the only player in the starting lineup to break ten points.
It was a disaster.
Following the game, justice was swift and severe. Isaiah Crowell was traded away. Ben Roethlisberger was unceremoniously cut. Acting out of pure desperation, the Colliders signed $49 Chitons-castoff running back Latavius Murray to a one year deal.
“Nothing matters,” said a despondent Hammond. “There is one silver lining, though. At least I didn’t have a win reversed by a scorekeeper giving Ryan Shazier another pass defensed.”
© 2017, Josh Hammond. All rights reserved.
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