Before the 2018 season, Cleveland Battery GM/Coach/Rodeo Clown Ben Pershey went ALL IN with an unholy bid to bring RB Todd Gurley to Batteryland. The resulting season brought Cleveland to the brink of the Bronze-seated toilet. With no money to land free agents and late round draft picks, the Battery will be hard pressed to not earn the trophy for Most Futile Franchise (incredibly for the first time since Pershey entered the league.)
Last night, a star-crazed Pershey saw a light in the darkness. What would spark joy for the fans of Cleveland in 2019? Enter QB Baker Mayfield! Not since the days of the Kosar-era Browns has Cleveland been alive with real hope.
We are talking about this kind of hope: https://www.cleveland.com/browns/2016/10/why_the_1986_browns_masters_of.html
Special nugget: This was set in the town where Pershey was born.
This is happening! We will not go down without a laughh!
© 2019, Ben Pershey. All rights reserved.
I actually like getting Baker Mayfield here. He might prove to be really good, and his contract is manageable. The real question is what you’ll do with Derek Carr. That dude’s stealing money.
I was just called out for doing fantasy football in a mall food court on Mother’s Day by the mother of my children!
But yes, Carr will find some end sooner or later.
I mean, obviously she fails to see you’re multi-tasking. Of course you can honor the mother of your children and manage your fantasy football team at the same time. At a mall.
https://youtu.be/2UGyDgVC-qM
Eh, I go to church and that’s all “fantasy” too, so, you know.
Just caught this. Glorious. I think she’s missing the camaraderie and social engagement aspect of fantasy football that can help men (1) – who generally have weaker social support networks than women(2) – live happier and less stressed lives.
1. https://sites.lafayette.edu/kissaner/files/2012/10/Kissane-and-Winslow-Forthcoming-Social-Currents.pdf
2. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0265407500171001
Agreed. This is a reasonable price for Rodgers. Banthas must be sweating Watson’s long-term viability.