Colliders Bring In Rookie Punter to Push Edwards

The 49ers DRAFTED this guy. In the 4th round!

BATAVIA, IL

The Batavia Colliders have signed rookie punter Mitch Wishnowski, of 49ers fame, days before the start of the season. GM Josh Hammond cited “competition” reasons for the move:

Look, we need production out of every position. Lachlan knows he has to do better. We were expecting a top-3 punter when we signed him, but suddenly the Jets offense became competent. I’m sure he’s feeling the heat with Le’Veon Bell added to the mix, and another year of learning from Darnold. He can’t help us if he’s on the sideline.

Come on guys, stop converting third downs.

Enter 49ers rookie Mitch Wishnowski. The move signals a lack of belief in the skills of QB Jimmy Garappolo and the 49ers offense in general. It also may signal some intense 49ers homerism, but Hammond denies the allegation.

When a reporter asked why the Colliders were a) carrying two punters and b) carrying two punters with the same bye week, Hammond looked confused and disoriented.

“They have the same bye week? God [expletive deleted.]”

It looks as though Edwards and Wishnowski will be in a full blown punting competition for the first three weeks of the season, until one (or both) are cut week 4.

© 2019, Josh Hammond. All rights reserved.

About Josh Hammond 227 Articles
Commissioner. Three-time champion (2011, 2016, 2018.) Keeper of spreadsheets.

2 Comments

  1. Two punters with the same bye—classic.

    I feel like we could do more with punters. Give them 2 for a kick inside the 20. Maybe a half point for a 50 yd punt, full point for a 60, something.

    • Yeah, I’m open to it. What I’d really like is for them to start tracking the kickoff stat, because then you’d try to draft punters and kickers based (partially) on who handles kickoffs.

Leave a Reply