BATAVIA, IL
The Colliders drafted a quarterback in round one for the first time in their history. They moved up one spot (and sent a 5th rounder to Cleveland) to insure they wouldn’t miss out on Trevor Lawrence.
The Colliders tried (and failed) to land a QB in free agency, thanks to several owners rostering 4-5 of them in a 1-QB league.
“How you gonna pick up Aaron Rodgers when you already have Kyler Murray?” said Hammond. “Good luck making the correct choice each week, I guess.”
“By all means, you should be picking up Deshaun Watson right now,” he continued.
None of that matters now, though, as Hammond appeared jubilant at the acquisition of the Jacksonville Jaguars signal caller. The Jaguars.
Who will be coached by Urban Meyer.
“Look, Trevor Lawrence is a huge talent,” Hammond explained, mostly to himself. “He can overcome the shortcomings of the organization he plays for.”
Can he though?
“Yes,” said Hammond, with transparently faux confidence.
The Jaguars have hilariously stated it’s an “open competition” between Lawrence and Gardner Minshew for the starting job. Hammond wasn’t buying it.
“Yeah, no, that’s not a thing. Hopefully Lawrence can parlay his size and athleticism into a season on par with at least Ryan Tannehill. Obviously the ceiling is higher than that. Maybe he’ll get some of those sweet sweet rushing TDs and make all the James Robinson/Travis Etienne owners have the sads.”
So, it appears as though the Colliders have finally answered their long-term QB questions, after several seasons of playing with the likes of Roethlisberger, subprime Cam Newton, and Ryan Tannehill (who they foolishly only signed to a one-year deal.)
“If the dude can have a Kyler Murray or pre-injury Joe Burrow type of rookie season, then I’ll look like a genius,” said Hammond. “Which I definitely am.”
Lawrence joins a strong roster, which will hopefully cover for some of the rookie’s inevitable growing pains.
Asked what the plans were for the second round, Hammond answered, “Fuck if I know.”
© 2021, Josh Hammond. All rights reserved.
Congrats on your 2021 Manziel!
JK. It seems high for a non-SF league but if he’s as advertised then it’s a really good pick!
I agree with you, given that I’ve never drafted a QB in the first round before. Part of it comes down to having someone on my roster who can contribute right away. I think we’re already running out of those guys in this draft.
I see him as more of an RGIII than a Manziel…Instead of just flaming out in a hail of alcohol abuse, he’ll suffer a horrifying career ending injury that will make me regret picking him.