Maxx Crosby Earns 1000% Raise

Crosby is the reigning Defensive MVP

Back in 2019, Colliders’s Owner/GM/Fan Favorite Josh Hammond watched the Raiders on the HBO series Hard Knocks. It was then that he targeted TE Darren Waller and DE Maxx Crosby. Waller went on to have a couple of huge seasons (and subsequently held out.) Not to be outdone, Maxx Crosby went nuclear last season and won the Defensive MVP award with over 223 points.

As expected, Crosby wanted to get paid. He was set to make $1.90 going into his fifth and final contract year. The Colliders have agreed to pay him north of $19, a raise of roughly 1017%.

“He’s earned it, that’s for sure,” said Hammond. “It’s too bad that other owners make it a habit of overpaying defensive ends, though. If his demands were more reasonable, we might have restructured his deal to add some more years.”

Hammond’s frank assessment went viral on social media, though some wondered if it was a motivational ploy by the crafty owner. When asked to comment about the impression he made on some that he doesn’t believe in Crosby long term, Hammond added fuel to the fire.

“We’re paying him for last year’s performance. It’s not a sound financial strategy in the long term. Do I think he’ll match last season’s output? I mean, I doubt it. That was an outlier season. But hopefully he proves me wrong and earns a big fat contract on the open market.”

The Colliders have drafted a few defensive ends in recent years in hopes of replacing Crosby’s output. So far, the other defensive ends have lacked the production of their formerly underpaid end. As Hard Knocks grows more and more sanitized, it’s hard to envision the strategy of scouting the documentary series for diamonds in the rough being viable moving forward. The Jets episodes were nothing more than Aaron Rodgers propaganda.

That being said, the Colliders faithful know their intrepid owner will find more diamonds in the rough.

He always does, that beast.

© 2023, Josh Hammond. All rights reserved.

About Josh Hammond 227 Articles
Commissioner. Three-time champion (2011, 2016, 2018.) Keeper of spreadsheets.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply