2024 Week 10 Preview

Winners

Holley (3-6), Cleveland (3-6), North Point (3-6), Tooz Town (8-1), Linn County (7-2), Bestine (4-5)

Great week to get your third win. Every team in the Gold Division lost.

Prediction Record

Last Week: 2-4
Overall: 31-17

Bad week for predicting fantasy football games.

2025 Divisions (if they were being made today)

No movement but Batavia is holding on to the Gold Division by their fingertips (1 game.)

Week 10 Preview

The ten richest people in America saw their wealth increase by $60 billion after the election. Unrelated to that, my favorite kind of fantasy football is a guillotine league.

Tooz Town (8-1) @ Marshfield (8-1)

Tooz Town has Jordan Love on the bye and saw Dak Prescott’s hamstring fall off, so they were coming into week 10 without a quarterback. They deftly traded a 5th rounder for Daniel Jones, who gets the start this week (just under the trade deadline, too.) Doesn’t seem optimal, but maybe Daniel Jones will perform better in front of the Germans than he typically does in America. It’s more likely, however, that he will just be his unfähig self (Jim, check the translation on that please.)

I like the Pirates chances here. Saquon Barkley will probably score 30 against the Cowboys. Worst case scenario, I jinx the Pirates and that’s not all bad. But seriously, the Pirates should get back to their winning ways.

Linn County (7-2) @ Batavia (5-4)

Incredibly, the Colliders are 12-1 against the Lumberjacks all time. Unfortunately for them, the Lumberjacks look to have better players this year. They are heavily invested in the Lions, who are actually good.

The Colliders got a nice 10-point game out of Marlon Humphrey on Thursday, but saw Justin Tucker (pig fucker) miss an extra point. It was brutal. Instead of scoring a mighty 2 points, he scored 0.50. Bro has already missed 5 kicks this season. HE’S WASHED.

The only hope the Colliders have in this one is if Patrick Mahomes decides DeAndre Hopkins is the only receiver worth throwing to, and tosses 3 TDs his way.

Outside of that, look for the Lumberjacks to secure their 2nd ever win against the Colliders.

Cleveland (3-6) at Dingle (0-9)

The Blow-Ins have put up a decent amount of points the last two weeks, so I don’t think they’ll go 0 for the season. They’re a little behind the 8-ball this week as Mark Andrews and Roquan Smith both hit double digits on Thursday night. Meanwhile, Zay Flowers only posted 4.50 for the Blow-Ins. THANKS FOR NOTHING ZAY. Might as well be Zay Jones.

On the plus side for Dingle, the Battery are forced to start backup RB Dare Ogunbowale, who dazzled for 0.05 points last week. I’m sure he’ll get lots of opportunities when the Lions are up 53.

If the Blow-Ins want to win, then they need to form an alliance with the Colliders: first, Mahomes needs to throw 4 TDs to DeAndre Hopkins. Then, Sam Darnold needs to return the favor and throw 4 TDs to Jordan Addison. If that happens, the Blow-Ins will win.

Realistically, however, I can’t find the points on the Dingle side of the ledger so look for them to go 0-10, which will only make their turnaround so much sweeter in the coming seasons.

Oregon (5-4) @ Holley (3-6)

Oregon has to start Joe Flacco and Dalvin Cook this week, which would have been pretty good ten years ago. If my sources are correct, Cook isn’t even on the active roster this week.

Meanwhile, the Hawks are forced to start Kimani Vidal at RB, which makes me wonder if we should consider changing the rule that forces you to start two RBs. The running back landscape is bleak.

Call me crazy, but I think the Hawks have a little more firepower this week.

Bestine (4-5) @ North Point (3-6)

Bestine got a nice boost on Thursday from their Bengals, including 25 points from Joe Burrow. They have to be smarting about that 1-point performance from Dionte Johnson, though. Eff that guy, man.

The Banthas go with the vaunted 2-TE lineup, with Cade Otton and Trey McBride actually lighting it up this year. They’ve also been getting a lot of production out of RBs Conner and Mixon. In theory, they should have enough to win this week.

HOWEVER, the Chitons finally get their $72 RB Christian McCaffrey this week. McCaffrey was pretty much a double-digit guarantee over the past two seasons. Will he be that productive after an extended injury layoff? Will Jalen Hurts even need to be tush-pushed against the Cowboys?

It will be a close one, but I think Bestine prevails.

Fransburg (6-3) @ Madtown (2-7)

Fransburg scored 66 points with Lamar Jackson and Ja’Marr Chase on Thursday, prompting a protest email from Matt. As I write this I have the NYG-CAR game on, and after one quarter Chuba Hubbard already has 83 yards rushing. This is going to be a blowout of epic proportions.

The Marauders missed out on a rare Rashod Bateman double digit performance on Thursday, and I have serious doubts that Jalen Tolbert of Wan’Dale Robinson will match that production. The only question about this game will be the margin.

I say 100 points.

In Conclusion

So in Madden 08 I traded for RB Jason Enright, but the damn glitchy game kept freezing whenever I tried to do drills with him. He’s only a 66 overall but I did get him 9 carries for 40 yards and a touchdown. Hopefully I can improve him in the next season.

QB Adam Franssen had another MVP season for the Colliders. WR Josh Hammond is laboring away in obscurity for a bad Cleveland Battery team. Kicker Ben Pershey redshirted his first year at the University of Minnesota.

I might be trying to distract myself.

Just saw a “Danny Euros” sign at this game in Germany. LOL.

Enjoy the games everyone!

© 2024, Josh Hammond. All rights reserved.