In 2015, the Dream Team saw some of their highest paid players shit the proverbial bed. Matthew Stafford is exempt from this list, as he scored 228 points, but his $32 salary is high by today’s standards. Marshawn Lynch got a $55 2-year deal, and he only scored 63 points. At least he had the decency to retire so Tim wouldn’t have to pay $60 for the bum in year two. DeSean Jackson stole $28 from the Dream Team and scored 70 points. Arian Foster cashed a $32 check before winding up on IR. The Dream Team drafted three running backs in the first round, and only TJ Yeldon eclipsed 100 points (just barely.) So, how will the Dream Team bounce back from a disappointing and injury-marred 2015? Read on, friend, and see for yourself.
QB: Philip Rivers held out, so the Dream Team went and picked up Tom Brady in free agency. At press time, the Dream Team lacks the funds to pay Rivers while Brady serves his suspension, but in a stroke of luck 5th round pick Carson Wentz has been named the starter in Philly. Maybe he can hold down the fort while Brady is gone. Rivers will probably have seven more kids by the time Brady’s suspension is over.
RB: Arian Foster somehow not only wound up on a new team, but ascended to the starting role. If Foster can put up good numbers for a few weeks before he lands on IR, then he’ll be worth it. Mark Ingram signed a big contract to come to Oregon, and immediately becomes the team’s #1. Yeldon and Abdullah enter year 2, so Matuszak is counting on more of a contribution. Melvin Gordon got traded; Carlos Hyde takes his place. This group might actually be one of the better ones in the league.
WR: Somehow Tyler Lockett scored 150 points last year. Looks like he’s second string this year. DeSean Jackson returns, somehow, and will be making $30 to not make plays. Travis Benjamin could be a nice player, but it remains to be seen how he fits in in San Diego. DaVante Parker will hopefully live up to the hype this season, because Oregon needs two consistent starters at WR. There are also a bunch of cheap fill-in players, but the WR position lacks the star power found at RB.
TE: Greg Olsen has been suprisingly good for the last few seasons. I’m ruing the day I traded him away. There are no other TEs on the roster right now.
PK: Chandler Catanzaro, who was hilariously franchise tagged.
DT: Malik Jackson is pretty good. Time to see if he can do it in Jacksonville. They also have Nutstomp Suh and drafted Jarran Reed. A good group here, but they cost a lot.
DE: Calais Campbell is the headliner, with rookie second rounder DeForest Buckner assuming the DE of the future status. Cliff Avirl is a nice get a $1 and will probably be the most productive one this year.
LB: Oregon only has two linebackers that eclipsed 100 points last year. They have just as many linebackers named Shaq. The latest Shaq was drafted in the second round and finds himself on the PUP list. Clay Matthews was signed for $1, but doesn’t bring a lot of fantasy points to the table. They did trade for Anthony Barr, who enters his RFA contract year and will hopefully provide a spark. This position needs a lot of work.
CB: Damarious Randall will likely start while DRC holds out, though it probably wouldn’t take much to force the Dream Team into meeting his reasonable $3.16 demand.
S: Malcolm Jenkins was a beast last year, and hopefully that continues. Eric Reid can be a good player when healthy, and they just drafted Deon Bush. Jenkins is clearly the best option here, but he wants to be paid like it – he’s currently holding out for $8.80.
The Dream Team has some tough sledding in a division with DownState and Marshfield. Last year they went 5-8, and I think they’ve improved, but the Brady suspension hurts. I think the RBs will be good in the upcoming season, but they still need help at WR and LB. Proably another 5-8 year.
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Man, these pictures are so hilarious.
Stupid Arian Foster. At least its only a matter of time before he gets hurt and (hopefully) one of my guys starts.
Oh yeah, it’s only a matter of time. Foster is brittle. I like his RBs though, especially if the draft picks step up.