Colliders’ Corner – Week 1

BOX SCORE

“We got the win, and that’s what’s important,” said Josh Hammond after an uneven victory against the Culver City Krakens. Hammond had the good fortune to play against the lowest scoring team in week 1, and they escaped with a lucky victory.

The Colliders’ running attack was feeble, with three running backs combining for a mere 70 yards. The wide receivers played well, aside from Julio Jones, who somehow couldn’t torch the Bears’ secondary. The offense was led by a 15.80-point effort from Antonio Brown.

They put together a solid defensive effort, though, with great play out of their defensive line. Trey Flowers scored 14.25 and Jason Pierre-Paul chipped in 9.25. Sheldon Richardson’s trade to Seattle and subsequent move to defensive tackle proved fortunate for Batavia, as he scored 8.50 points.

Unsurprisingly, Antonio Brown led the offense. The defense got a spark from rookie linebacker Jarrad Davis (2nd round.)

Two rookies shined: Jarrad Davis, who was in the starting lineup, and Tarik Cohen, who wasn’t. Cohen looks to start over Derrick Henry next week. Henry is gifted, but isn’t given enough opportunities.

The quarterback position is still shaking out, as the Colliders are currently carrying four signal callers. They started the worst of the bunch, Cam Newton, who only scored 11 points. He was outscored by Ben Roethlisberger, Sam Bradford, and even DeShone Kizer. If Cam can’t get it together this week he might be seeing the bench soon.

“We learned a lot in week one,” said Hammond. “We learned who can play and who can’t. One rookie linebacker is good, the other one isn’t. Not surprising. We’ll be happen to have Vernon (Hargreaves) back after his hurricane bye – turns out Marlon Humphrey can’t play. He’s way in the doghouse. You could go into the doghouse to look for him and wind up in Narnia – that’s how far into the doghouse he is.

“But then you’ve got the guys you can count on, like Antonio. He just puts up points, week in and week out, year in and year out. That’s why we pay the man.”

The Colliders square off against the 0-1 Pirates next week. Hammond said he didn’t want to give Marshfield any bulletin board material, but he did mention that they probably wouldn’t be practicing “all that hard” this week.

 

© 2017, Josh Hammond. All rights reserved.

About Josh Hammond 222 Articles
Commissioner. Three-time champion (2011, 2016, 2018.) Keeper of spreadsheets.

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