Dream Team looks to improve, avoids talking about winning.

Rule #1: Have fun.

That was GM Tim Matuszak’s theme of practice on Tuesday as the Dream Team begins another rebuilding season from the 2012 campaign.

“I want the guys to remember why they began playing the game in the first place, and that’s to have fun,” Matuszak said. “Obviously we’re going through a bumpy time right now in the organization, trying to set ourselves up for long-term success, but I want these guys to remember that even during difficult times we can enjoy the game.”

”I really believe in the process,” Matuszak added. ”I think when you look ahead, you forget about enjoying the process. We want to compete, have our guys go hard, get better at fundamentals and techniques, but also enjoy it. And when you look ahead, sometimes you miss those things. They’re getting paid to play a game; a game that has given them everything, and hopefully they can focus on some positives as we sort through our struggles in the front office.”

And struggles, there have been plenty. Matuszak has not been shy from owning up to his rookie mistakes with the franchise check book during the 2012 season.

“When I walked into the auction draft last season, I was like a freshman in high school. I had no idea who I was, what to do with myself, or how to act. Obviously, we regret the mistake of ever bringing in fat ass RB Cedric Benson for a workout that offseason, because he had the performance of his life that day and I fell in love with his potential in our system.”

“I don’t have many regrets in life,” Matuszak said. “Sneaking around and fathering the child that Jesse Garcia believes to be his, that’s up there, but nothing makes me more embarrassed than accepting that trade for Benson and his $24 contract. I don’t think we got 300 yards out of him before he went on IR, and plus he tripled our cafeteria budget.”

After walking away from the 2012 auction with over $82 dollars left under the cap, Matuszak realized he was in over his head. He vowed to connect with his network of local Scuffle GM’s, and learn the tricks of the trade.

Coming into the 2013 auction, Matuszak had a better understanding for a bargain and player-bidding management. While cutting the team roster down to 18 players heading into the auction, Matuszak wasn’t defiant about the hits he would take in 2013 for those moves, and began to grab position players in bunches. He overhauled the Dream Team secondary with the signings of S Donte Whitner, S Stevie Brown, S Rashad Jones, and CB Tim Jennings.

Unfortunately for the Dream Team, Stevie Brown was lost just two preseason games into his short career with an ACL tear on Saturday.

“I understand when players look at these signings, they’re going to think I overdid it at one position, but I wanted to create competition throughout practice,” Matuszak added. “Some of these guys are only going to be signed to 1-year contracts, but the dividends that their presence will pay in our individual defensive drills for our long-term guys will be on display in the future.”

Also signed during the auction were a new core of receivers, DeSean Jackson, Anquan Boldin, and AJ Jenkins.

“I’ll be honest,” Matuszak noted, lowering his head, “The AJ Jenkins signing, I fucked that one up. I thought he would take advantage of an opportunity we gave him in camp, and he instead wet the bed. And giving TE Aaron Hernandez the franchise tag a week before he went Ja Rule, (aka MURDAAAAAA) on the great state of Connecticut, both of those moves were my mistake. I’ll eat the cost there and I hope the fans can accept my apology.”

Matuszak was especially excited about the addition of 2 talented quarterbacks, Ben Roethlisberger and Matt Flynn. “Ben and Matt are two high character guys who have shown the ability to make all of the throws in our system, and we couldn’t be more stoked to have them on staff for a combined $2.00. While Matt came into camp a little out of shape, Ben will have a shot at immediately competing with Matthew Stafford for the starting job.”

Ironing out the additions for the Dream Team from the league auction are 8-year TE Owen Daniels out of Wisconsin, and 16-year veteran K Phil Dawson, who both will make immediate impacts with the starting units.

“Again, two guys who we were able to grab at a combined $2.00, that we’re hoping can come in and provide a bit of leadership in the locker room when we face adversity this season.”

The Dream Team had planned to lean heavily on RB Jonathan Stewart in the backfield in 2013 after J-Stew had offseason operations to repair ligaments in both of his hampered ankles. After being projected as the lead back going into camp, team doctors then delivered the bad news to Matuszak that one of J-Stew’s ankles wasn’t healing properly, and would need to start the season on the PUP list.

“Big disappointment there, and that’s about all I want to comment.” Matuszak said with a sharp tone in his voice. He then continued, “I cut DeAngelo Williams this offseason, to free up a little cash for our team, and now that son of a bitch will be starting over in Sweet Home all because J-Stew is a BRITTLE MOTHER FU……..damnit there I go. Said too much”

“No more comment on J-Stew.”

Heading into the rookie draft, Matuszak had his mind set on two running backs with the 1.01 and 2.01 picks, but soon found himself in uncharted waters.

“We went into Saturday planning to add some depth to the running back position, obviously, as brittle bitch Stewart, shit, sorry, was our only RB signed.” Matuszak noted. “We got our guy at 1.01 in RB Giovani Bernard, but I never expected for 7 of the top 11 picks to be running backs.” After performing research and bringing in a total of seven running backs for workouts prior to the draft, Matuszak was sure he could land 2 of the 7 in the first 13 picks.

“Call me naive,” Matuszak said, “but I was caught with my pants down as the 2.01 pick rolled around to us.”

Faced with a decision to make a quick move, Matuszak went Against the Grain™ and picked local favorite RB Kenjon Barner with the 2.01 pick.

“I understand from a production standpoint, a lot of GM’s were probably scratching their head with that pick. But, Kenjon is a great kid, and I can live with my choice if Kenjon helps us in the short passing game and on kick returns. And, if enough of our fans head over to the team shop and buy his jersey for the weekend sale price of $129.99.”

Rounding out the rookie draft were picks WR Stedman Bailey, CB Dee Milliner, and S Eric Reed, who all accompanied Barner as 1^st Team-All Americans in 2012. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_College_Football_All-America_Team

“I can teach technique, I can teach X’s and O’s, but one thing I CAN’T teach is heart. These rookies have proven over their football careers that they have the heart and desire to put in the time and effort necessary to be successful, and that’s what we’ll expect out of them.”

The Dream Team looks to be competitive in 2013, but obviously have their eyes on the future and the long-term success of the franchise. They’re anticipating that over $129 dollars will come off the books by the end of the season, and are preparing to have around $200 dollars to spend next offseason.

As Matuszak finished up practice on Tuesday, he spoke to his team with a soft voice. “Keep your eyes on the prize, men. Enjoy the game of football and all it has to offer. Compete every day. Make each other better. And I promise you, that eventually I will get rid of Jake Locker and his bullshit 8-year contract from your previous coach, J-Stew and his two bum ankles at $35, Austin Miles who isn’t worth $6 much less the $23 we’re paying him, and Ja Rule who is eating for free this season.”

“And if that can’t keep you motivated, remember that we get to play the Gridiron Gang twice this season!!!”

© 2013, Tim Matuszak. All rights reserved.